


Open Your Eyes

by mysupernaturalobsessions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexual Character, Cupiosexuality, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4547442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysupernaturalobsessions/pseuds/mysupernaturalobsessions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas does something during sex that Dean never would have expected, especially considering how long they spend staring at each other when they're vertical.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: this fic contains depictions and explanations of certain sexual orientations that in no way act as a definition or full explanation. Having an angel character complicates things a bit!

Dean and Cas finally got their shit together. Sort of. They KISSED, alright? Shut up. It’s a step.

A step it took them a hell of a long time to take. Dean only grumbled a little bit about the chick-flick-moment aftermath, when they actually had to talk about things and figure out what it meant and all that. It made Dean cringe and it was a waste of kissing time if he was being completely honest. They had promised to be honest to each other at least - no more lies.

Cas had nodded solemnly and leaned back in to kiss Dean again. Talking over, thank Chuck.

They spent a good majority of their free time kissing after that. Dean spent the rest of it smiling like an idiot.

Yup, they’d finally kissed. Things were good. And then they weren’t so good.

Dean noticed it the second time they slept together. It had taken them a long time to get there, but, hey, they were busy guys. At that point slow was kind of their pace.

Anyway, Dean had wanted to let Cas set the timeline, since it was all new to him. The angel seemed content with how things were going. He got braver in his kisses and touches, realizing he didn’t need permission anymore. The close proximity the two shared was justified now. That gave Dean a warm feeling.

If having Cas look at him from across the room made Dean feel this loved, he knew the sex was going to be awesome.

And it was. Sort of.

They had both been a little distracted the first time. After a close-call on a hunt, Dean had all but dragged Cas back to the motel room.

Sam shot questioning looks at both of them the whole tense car ride home. The only answer he received to the myriad of unasked questions was a slammed door in his face.

He went, half-bitterly, half-amused, to get himself another room.

Dean was on Cas before the door even shut. He kissed the angel everywhere he could reach and tugged at his clothes, a question, a plea.

Cas obliged.

“Is this okay?” Dean kept asking, panting it against Castiel’s skin as more and more of it was revealed.

Cas nodded.

Everything was over pretty fast after that and it was the most perfect and intense moment of Dean’s life. He wanted it again and again. But the second time, he decided he wanted it a little slower.

He hovered over Castiel in their shared bed in the bunker. He moved gently this time and they breathed each other’s air. Dean watched every emotion as it made its way to Cas’s face and when he orgasmed beneath him, Dean watched the way his lips fell open before diving into a quick kiss. He pulled back hastily, just to check. Sure enough, Cas had never opened his eyes.

This was disappointing to Dean on many levels. He wanted to see Cas, all of him. More importantly, he wanted to know what it meant that the man he made love to didn’t want to look at him.

At first, he thought maybe Cas didn’t want the sex. But over the next few weeks, Cas initiated just as much as Dean did. So he just didn’t want to see him.

Dean tested out the idea a few more times, growing more and more dismayed. His desperation peaked.

He was beneath Castiel this time, farther away but still close.

“Cas,” he breathed. “Cas, please look at me.” And he did.

Dean didn’t know what he’d been expecting. He saw blue, and it was the most beautiful thing Dean thought he’d ever seen. But the hunger he had been expecting to see mirrored back at him, wasn’t there. There was love, sure, but that was how Cas always looked at him.

By the end, Dean was mystified at best, and borderline insulted. He took it as a challenge.

He would come back after working on Baby, covered in grease and sweat. He’s reach high for things in the closet to reveal skin. He walked back from the shower in only a towel with the water still dripping down his skin.

No matter what he did, Cas would smile and meet his eyes and look completely unaffected.

He felt ridiculous by the time he brought it up. They were sitting on the bed, full from dinner and worn out from a day of research. Dean had a headache and he was frustrated. When Cas reached for him, he pulled back.

“Can you,” he mumbled. He stared resolutely at his hands clenched tightly in his lap. “I mean, why don’t you ever look at me when…”

“When we have sex?”

Dean nodded. “I mean, you want it, right? You want to have sex with me?”

“Yes,” he said immediately.

“But you never…I don’t know, seem to want me.”

Cas sighed and made a move for Dean again. This time he didn’t stop him. Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s middle.

“I always want you. I love you.” Dean melted back, feeling embarrassed for being so self-conscious. And then Cas confirmed his worst fears. “But I’m not capable of physical attraction.”

Dean turned that over in his head. But there was no way to put it in a positive light. His words turned hard. “So you don’t want me?”

He wasn’t mad at Cas really he was mad at himself.

Cas kissed him behind the ear, soothing. “What did I just tell you? I want you, Dean. I’m not sure how to explain. I believe humans call it cupiosexual. I do not experience physical attraction, towards you or anyone.”

“So…sex?” Good one, Dean, very articulate. Cas just chuckled.

“Sex is pleasant in its own way. I do find it enjoyable. I desire the closeness. I like being near you.”

“But then why don’t you look at me?”

“I do. My grace can see your soul, Dean. When you let me so close it is magnificent. I simply don’t feel a physical need to your body.”

“So you like sex, but you don’t need to have it with me? But you want to have it with me?”

Cas nodded cautiously. “Is it not the same for you?”

“Huh. Guess it is.” Dean smiled and Cas smiled back.

“Perhaps sometimes it is better to be wanted.”

“Free will, and all that,” Dean agreed. “I’m glad you chose me, Cas. Even if you don’t think I’m hot…”

Cas babbled while Dean turned his head to mouth at Cas’s neck “I find no one hot. Physical forms have no impact on me. I find you very aesthetically appealing, though, Dean.”


End file.
